It Was A Fluke

As I hoped and prayed, Caleb was not trying to make any permanent changes to his behavior.  A good night's rest on Monday night straightened things out.

We have pretty much stuck around the house this week with the exception of a trip to Temple to have lunch with Jadie on Monday and an almost all day visit with Aunt Kristin on Tuesday.  Caleb even managed to work in a nap in Kristin's bed.  Unfortunately, Kristin and I still had to pretend to sleep on the floor next to him to get him to fall asleep.

This afternoon, I simply put him in bed and told him I loved him and closed the door.  I heard him protesting for a little while and then playing a little after that.  I'm pretty sure he ended up konking out on the floor, but he's been out for a good two hours now.  

Changing subjects drastically...I have been feeling a little lonely today.  I think that's what it is.  It's not that I haven't talked to anyone.  It's that several (and what feels like most) of my mom friends have been talking about full time work outside of the home.  This has caused me to question what I want to be doing.  By no means to I question my decision to stay home up to this point, it's just that I entertain the idea of doing something else.  Really, I'm thinking out loud here, using you all as a sounding block.  I think there are other factors that come into play here too.  

• Over the last two years, I have been involved in MOPS, which has given me a nice outlet and kept me in contact with other moms who "just stay at home."  Our playdates this summer have been nice, but there aren't as many moms who participate and part of the reason is due to work.  
  
• Also, there are the seemingly frequent comments from my dear sweet husband.  Things like, "When you go back to work..."  or "If you were working, we could afford..."  I know he's not pushing me to work tomorrow, but the comments sure can wear on a girl.  You know, he may say it twice, but it replays in my head a hundred times.
  
• There is also the fact that life at home can at times seem redundant.  Wake up.  Fix and devour breakfast.  Go watch Caleb play outside for an hour.  Come inside and read to Caleb.  Fix and devour lunch.  Put Caleb down for a nap.  Sometimes fall asleep myself in the process.  Wake up.  Watch a movie with Caleb.  Welcome Jadie home.  Fix dinner.  And somewhere in the I have the pleasure of doing laundry, washing dishes, and grocery shopping.  I know, I've really oversimplified things, but sometimes this is how it feels.  
  

Maybe it's the fact that it's usually just me and the kiddo.  Maybe I need to set up several encounters with other human beings throughout the week.  Maybe it's that I don't really have a personal outlet that I'm obsessed with right now.  Like scrapbooking, or cross-stitching, or yodeling, or purse-making, or whatever.  Maybe it's just that I started my period yesterday (aren't you glad I threw that in there?).  Who knows?