Character Development

God has really challenged me this year.  We're only 4 1/2 months in, but I am feeling stretched and unsatisfied with myself.

1.  Almost four months ago, he brought a scripture to my attention.  It was inconspicuous.  It wasn't even a main verse from my study.  But I cannot seem to forget it.

"but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her children." I Thessalonians 2:7

Here, Paul is talking about how he dealt with the believers in Thessalonica.  When I read this, I immediately evaluated myself as a mother.  Am I gentle with my children?  With my husband?  With other believers?  Not so much.  Nope.  Maybe.

2.  Another scripture is one that I have taken out of context a bit, but have applied to my own life.

"For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations."  Ephesians 2:14-15

Really, I just took the parts that say, "the dividing wall of hostility," and "the law with its commandments and regulations."   Now, I know that these verses refer to Jesus abolishing the law of Moses and bringing the world under the law of grace.

But...

I began to look at my own laws and regulations that I've been imposing on others.  On my children.  On my husband.  Sometimes we refer to these as expectations.

Have I built walls of hostility with my expectations?  Why yes.  Yes I have.  Abolish them!  Let grace abound!

3.   General things I'm being challenged to change:  Acting or speaking in anger, being head-strong and difficult with my husband, and controlling myself.