Character Development

God has really challenged me this year.  We're only 4 1/2 months in, but I am feeling stretched and unsatisfied with myself.

1.  Almost four months ago, he brought a scripture to my attention.  It was inconspicuous.  It wasn't even a main verse from my study.  But I cannot seem to forget it.

"but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her children." I Thessalonians 2:7

Here, Paul is talking about how he dealt with the believers in Thessalonica.  When I read this, I immediately evaluated myself as a mother.  Am I gentle with my children?  With my husband?  With other believers?  Not so much.  Nope.  Maybe.

2.  Another scripture is one that I have taken out of context a bit, but have applied to my own life.

"For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations."  Ephesians 2:14-15

Really, I just took the parts that say, "the dividing wall of hostility," and "the law with its commandments and regulations."   Now, I know that these verses refer to Jesus abolishing the law of Moses and bringing the world under the law of grace.

But...

I began to look at my own laws and regulations that I've been imposing on others.  On my children.  On my husband.  Sometimes we refer to these as expectations.

Have I built walls of hostility with my expectations?  Why yes.  Yes I have.  Abolish them!  Let grace abound!

3.   General things I'm being challenged to change:  Acting or speaking in anger, being head-strong and difficult with my husband, and controlling myself.

Reality

Just so you know, I've been totally selfish lately.
When I think about the plan for the day, it's all about me.
What do I want to do today?
Where do I want to go today?

Let's document this realization...
And hope that getting it out there will help me shift my priorities toward a more balanced approach...
Like considering my children.

Picky Eaters

These tips from Mayo Clinic sound logical to me...and I can see I may need to reconsider some of my methods.

Taken from this children's health article.

I wonder if any of these tips would work for Jadie, too?  Or if not using these techniques when he was younger has led to some of his selectivity when it comes to food?  I guess I'll never know.

No. 1: Respect your child's appetite — or lack of one

If your child isn't hungry, don't force a meal or snack. Likewise, don't bribe or force your child to eat certain foods or clean his or her plate. This might only ignite — or reinforce — a power struggle over food. In addition, your child might come to associate mealtime with anxiety and frustration. Serve small portions to avoid overwhelming your child and give him or her the opportunity to independently ask for more.

No. 2: Stick to the routine

Serve meals and snacks at about the same times every day. Provide juice or milk with the food, and offer water between meals and snacks. Allowing your child to fill up on juice or milk throughout the day might decrease his or her appetite for meals.

No. 3: Be patient with new foods

Young children often touch or smell new foods, and may even put tiny bits in their mouths and then take them back out again. Your child might need repeated exposure to a new food before he or she takes the first bite. Encourage your child by talking about a food's color, shape, aroma and texture — not whether it tastes good. Serve new foods along with your child's favorite foods.

No. 4: Make it fun

Serve broccoli and other veggies with a favorite dip or sauce. Cut foods into various shapes with cookie cutters. Offer breakfast foods for dinner. Serve a variety of brightly colored foods.

No. 5: Recruit your child's help

At the grocery store, ask your child to help you select fruits, vegetables and other healthy foods. Don't buy anything that you don't want your child to eat. At home, encourage your child to help you rinse veggies, stir batter or set the table.

No. 6: Set a good example

If you eat a variety of healthy foods, your child is more likely to follow suit.

No. 7: Be creative

Add chopped broccoli or green peppers to spaghetti sauce, top cereal with fruit slices, or mix grated zucchini and carrots into casseroles and soups.

No. 8: Minimize distractions

Turn off the television and other electronic gadgets during meals. This will help your child focus on eating. Keep in mind that television advertising might also encourage your child to desire sugary foods.

No. 9: Don't offer dessert as a reward

Withholding dessert sends the message that dessert is the best food, which might only increase your child's desire for sweets. You might select one or two nights a week as dessert nights, and skip dessert the rest of the week — or redefine dessert as fruit, yogurt or other healthy choices.

No. 10: Don't be a short-order cook

Preparing a separate meal for your child after he or she rejects the original meal might promote picky eating. Encourage your child to stay at the table for the designated mealtime — even if he or she doesn't eat. Keep serving your child healthy choices until they become familiar and preferred.

If you're concerned that picky eating is compromising your child's growth and development, consult your child's doctor. In addition, consider recording the types and amounts of food your child eats for three days. The big picture might help ease your worries. A food log can also help your child's doctor determine any problems. In the meantime, remember that your child's eating habits won't likely change overnight — but the small steps you take each day can help promote a lifetime of healthy eating.

Announcing the Name of Baby #3

NORAH ELIZABETH

Finally!!!!

We've decided on a name for Baby #3.  I know, you've all been holding your collective breaths...and I'm sure I've thrown plenty of confusion into the mix by changing my mind every few days.  That's why I haven't updated the blog with any discussion of names...because I just could NOT decide!

I was originally thinking about Leah, and I even had both kids saying it for a week or so.  But then I googled the meaning of Leah.  And although I still think Leah is an incredibly beautiful name, I wasn't exactly thrilled with it's connotation: Weary.

I was also considering Ellie.  Such a cute name.  But I hesitated to make her first name Ellie, thinking she may want a more mature name in the future.

I started searching again...and I was able to meet 2 of the 3 criteria I was aiming for all along.  I was hoping for a name that 1)was in the Bible, 2)was a soft, sweet name...you know, not harsh or flashy, and 3)was 5 letters long.  I know, who picks a name by the number of letters?  I do.

And so, we have settled on...

Norah- means Light

Elizabeth (middle name)- Consecrated to God
We'll possibly be calling her Ellie, because I think it's just so darn cute.  And we'll shorten Elizabeth to Beth when we call her by her first and middle name.

So, from now on, we'll be referring to her as Norah Beth...unless of course "she" turns out to be a boy...

Bunked

I'm contemplating the purchase of bunk beds in the near future.  Top bunk for Caleb, bottom bunk for Sarah.

Does anyone have any tips about bunk beds?

How about bunk beds that can be separated into twin beds later?

Wood vs. Metal?  Is this just preference or a durability issue?

Here is one I'm thinking looks pretty good and in price range:

White Wal-Mart Twin Size Bunk Bed

Oberon White Bunk Bed

Baby #3: Belly Progress

I've officially outgrown 2 pairs of pants...more to come.

No picture of the bump today.  I plan to start monthly pictures at the 13 week mark, AKA the 3 month mark.

We're at 11 weeks today.  I can't tell you how ready I am to have my regular non-nauseous self back!

We'll see if I can manage a St Patty's Day photo later today when Caleb is home...

We Did It: Paying Cash for a Minivan

How we created enough savings to buy a (used) car with cash only:

• After we paid off our Saturn  a year and a half ago, we started paying ourselves, building significant savings.
• The only debt we have is our home mortgage (even owing that drives me bonkers).
• In case you didn't know this about me, I don't pay full price for many things.  I shop the rewards program at CVS and use coupons or buy store brands whenever possible.
• Most work around the house is done by Jadie.  Even our bathroom remodels last year came in under $2,000 total.

Here's how the deal went down:

• We made a mental list of what we wanted.

1. Stow-n-go for all 5 seats.
2. around 50K miles, if possible.
3. 5 years old or less.

• We shopped online for minivans, getting a firm idea of the going rate for what we wanted.
• We stopped at a Carmax in Austin to get an education regarding pricing and features of various minivans.  They have No-Haggle pricing and No-Pressure sales, so we felt free to ask questions.
• While working in Temple, Jadie spotted a 2007 Dodge Grand Caravan with 54K miles and 5 Stow-N-Go seats.
• We drove down to take the minivan for a test drive with the kiddos.
• We almost walked away that night, but the manager of the dealership quickly made a $1,500 price drop to keep us interested. (I'm assuming this is because this vehicle had been sitting in their parking lot for over 2 months.)
• We still walked, saying we'd think about it.
• We looked at every dealership in Waco to scope out comparable or better deals.  Zip.  Zero.
• Jadie called the dealership in Temple and negotiated another $500 price drop.
• Jadie brought the minivan home last night so we could have our mechanic look at it today.
• No major issues with the minivan functionality or under the hood.
• We gave the dealership a list of things we saw and wanted to have repaired.  They agreed.
• We drove to Temple to pay for our new minivan!

A Glimpse

This one is really hard to explain, but I want to document it nonetheless.

Last night I was giving the kids a bath after they had been playing in the sandbox outside.  Praise the Lord for beautiful weather, by the way.  As they were standing in the tub, I became inexplicably overwhelmed at the sight of my two children.  Nothing extra special was happening.  I was just in awe of the work of the Creator.  He creates perfectly.  He creates with such care.  He allows me to be a part of the process.

All of a sudden, I became incredibly appreciative that God has allowed me to birth, love, teach, and witness these two lives.  And then came the realization that there will soon be a third little body using that very bathtub.

Blessed for a third time.  Challenged for a third time.  Sustained through a third pregnancy.  Lord willing, we will welcome a third child into this world in early October.

So, there you have it.  Several of you already know.  Several of you are hearing this for the first time.  I ask each of you to join us in praying for the growth, development, and overall health of this child I cannot even detect yet.  May God receive all the glory for his work in our lives.

I Will Not Cry...

After holding onto Caleb's clothes for the past 5 years, I have finally let go.

I have been holding onto them JUST IN CASE we have another baby.  And we still might.  But taking up two lengths of shelf space in the shed was getting ridiculous.  The collection of Rubbermaids really snowballed after Sarah started outgrowing her clothes, too.

So, I spent a few minutes in mourning and I started sorting.  One pile for Goodwill, one pile for Baby Charlie (9 months), one pile for Baby Ethan (due any minute), and one pile to consign.

Little did I know, it was my lucky day.  If you believe in that sort of thing.  Luck, I mean.

First, I had to figure out how to get Sarah and two Rubbermaid bins into the store.  Then, the store clerk explained to me their NEW clothes buying policy!  Once she went through my clothes, she would be offering me CASH MONEY or STORE CREDIT right away!  No more waiting 3 months just to see if anything sold.  The store was going to BUY my clothes from me up front!  Yay!

What did I manage to walk away with?  From 2 bins of clothes sized newborn to 3T, I was offered $154 cash or $194 store credit!  Take a deep breath...read it again...

This momma has some mad money stored up for the next time I want to go kid's clothes shopping!

And IF another baby comes along, I'll bet there will still be some credit in that store account to furnish a new wardrobe...or at least part of it!

Resolutions

1. Drink more water. This is a repeat from last year, but I know I should go for it again. The benefits far outweigh the cons. The body craves water and the wallet is heavier when I obey the craving.
2. Make a stronger effort to remember birthdays. I sit here with a card organizer. I will use it. I will use it. I'm filling in the birthdays today and my most immediate goal is to purchase cards to fill it.
3. Nag less. Jadie would appreciate this. And I'm sure I will appreciate the resulting husband who isn't annoyed or frustrated by me. Win-win. (a) about things I am annoyed that he's not doing. A reminder is received better than incessant nagging. Knowing the difference is key. (b) about the things I want him to do that he just isn't up for. Staying at home when I really wanted to go somewhere is not the end of the world.
   
4. Revert back to my love of lists. Seriously, how can they not be helpful? Leaving them at home is not helpful, but the list itself is indispensable.
5. Be present. When I learn how to do this, I'll let you know. But for now, I will try to control my urge to be constantly moving. Oh, and that urge to be doing more than one thing at a time. Multi-tasking really isn't as great as I once thought. Really, I'm only doing two things with subpar effort instead of just doing one thing really well. And I miss enjoying the people I'm surrounded with.

A Word About Parenting

For quite a while now, I've been on a roller coaster in regards to parenting Caleb.

Sometimes I feel like I'm really on top of things.  I control my emotions, I give clear instructions, and I remain patient as I repeat myself for the 5th and 6th time.

Most recently, I have felt very out of control.  I have been whining, yelling, and punishing him for every little thing.  I can sense the hatred in my voice.  I know that the hatred comes from my annoyance at his behavior, but that it comes across as contempt for him as a person.

These are not my true feelings and I don't want to break his spirit or increase his negative behavior.  Yes, he needs to obey, he should always be respectful, and he should be kind to others.  Inappropriate behaviors are still unacceptable.  There should be consequences.  But the consequence should not be threatening to his self-esteem.

I think you're getting the picture in terms of how I've been reacting to his negative and inappropriate behaviors.  With that said, I came to a point last night where I realized how out of control I was.  I had lost control of my own emotions and my own reactions.  Every misbehavior was being met with anger and frustration.   Honestly, I reached a point where I was afraid of what my next response might be.

I spent some time last night confessing my situation to my close girlfriends.  They reassured me and encouraged me in my efforts.

This morning, I got the word.  You know, the much-needed word from God.  Two words.  Consistently calm.  He said I needed to remain consistently calm.  I realize that I need his help with this one.  And I pray that he will.

I had my first test already this morning.  I remained calm as I outlined the boundaries for Caleb's behavior.  I remained calm as he pushed through the boundary.  I remained calm as I enforced the consequences.  Caleb responded much more cooperatively than when I react in anger.

I pray that with God's help, I can reestablish a calm, loving, productive system for guiding Caleb toward appropriate, respectful behavior in all situations.

Summer Goals

I confess that this is not my original idea. I have seen variations of this on several blogs.

Although Caleb originally said he was not interested in making this list, he has been enthusiastic since we finished it. We accomplished 4 goals already today!

Bathroom Progress

We've run into a few snags along the way, but here's what we've accomplished:

• Vanity tops are installed.
• One faucet with piping has been successfully replaced.

Wow.  That was a short list.
We are currently annoyed at Caleb's bathroom piping.  From what we've seen at Home Depot and discussed with the various plumbing experts there, most sink piping is 1.25" (for bathrooms) or 1.5" (for kitchens).  Apparently, the piping under the sink in Caleb's bathroom is 2".  Where the heck did that come from?  And every pipe connection in glued.  I'm hoping Jadie can get some sound advice from somewhere, because I surely do NOT want to hire a plumber to fix that piping!

Bathroom Reno Progress

Betcha didn't know that we're renovating our bathrooms! Or maybe you did...I actually posted about it a while back ago.

We take our home improvements as we can fit them in financially, and the bathrooms got moved to the top of the list for health reasons. Let's just say that the linoleum is peeling up around the toilet in Caleb's bathroom. With a boy who doesn't always hit the mark, this is getting to be a health hazard.

Here's what we're doing to Caleb's bathroom:

• Painting the cabinets white.
• Taking down the huge mirror and replacing it with a smaller framed mirror.
• Replacing the linoleum floors with tile.
• Replacing the vanity countertops.
• Replacing the chrome fixtures with updated satin nickel fixtures.
• Ripping out and replacing the hideously large wood frame and florescent lighting.
• Peeling off the wallpaper and (hopefully) texturing the walls. I say hopefully, because we haven't called the texturing guy yet.

And our bathroom:

• Painting the cabinets white.
• Taking down the huge mirror and replacing it with two smaller framed mirrors.
• Replacing the vanity countertops.
• Replacing the chrome fixtures with updated satin nickel fixtures.
• Ripping out and replacing the hideously large wood frame and florescent lighting.
• Texturing the walls.

So, Jadie really went to town tonight with our friend, Robby.  Here is what they've accomplished!

Caleb's Bathroom Before
I didn't get a good shot of the wood frame covering the florescent lights.  Bummer.

Caleb's Bathroom Tonight

Our Bathroom Tonight

Learning To Love

How do you teach your children to love one another?

An obvious answer is to demonstrate love through your own words and actions.

My more specific question is this: How do you successfully correct unloving behavior?

The reason I ask is that we are having some challenges with Caleb hurting Sarah.

Tonight's episode seemed pretty severe to us. He threw a small toy at her head, repeatedly. When she finally started screaming at the top of her lungs, he went to hide. He did admit to hitting her repeatedly with a toy.

We punished him by quarantining him to his room for the night, with the exception of eating dinner, which he would do alone at the kitchen table. While in his room, he was not allowed to play with any toys, only read his books. I made sure to reiterate the reason for his punishment at least 5 times throughout the evening. I reminded him that we are not to use our hands for hurting others, but for loving them.

Does anyone have any other suggestions or some encouragement?

A-Ha!

An excerpt from my BSF lesson that really spoke to me today:

"When one literally lives by drawing upon His exhaustless source of joy, peace, love, patience, self-control, power, strength to endure, and ability to meet every situation, life becomes abundant, zestful, adventuresome, without fear, and the personality is fully integrated."

I try time and again to control myself (my behavior and emotions).  I am mostly referring to my many battles of wills with Caleb.  This was a profound reminder to draw on Christ for all things.  Namely love, patience, self-control, and strength to endure.

Induced Laughter

Jadie found a new way to make Sarah giggle.

This is a rather difficult task as it usually takes running your fingers up her sides and onto her neck at least 4 or 5 times to get a little snicker.  Occasionally the quick neck kisses will work.

This afternoon, Jadie and I were playing some cards (Nertz, of course).  As Jadie was shuffling, he flipped his cards near Sarah's face so that the breeze made her flinch...and then giggle.  He tried it again.  More giggles.  This went on for well over a minute, which is an eternity in terms of baby laughter.  What a beautiful moment!

Goal Tending:

• I read from John chapter 9 today.
• I failed miserably in the physical challenge department.  10 minutes of Wii fit time.
• I got out of bed at 9:00 am.
• I ordered sweet tea at dinner tonight.  In my defense, we were using a gift certificate from Restaurant.com which required us to spend $35 before tip, so drinks were pretty necessary.
• I yelled less, but I gave a pretty harsh spanking for disobedience and eye rolling.  Can you believe he's already rolling his eyes? 

One Day Down and Quote of the Day

Today was a good start to my personal 2010 challenge.

• I got out of bed around 9:00 am, but I was awake (I mean actually awake) before 8:30 am.  
• I mowed the lawn for my physical activity (this had not been done since September, so there were more than a few tiny little trees needed to be mowed over).
• I yelled MUCH less.  For further clarification, this yelling challenge is pertaining to how much I yell at the little man.
• I just finished doing my Bible study for the day.  I would like to incorporate this into my early rise time.  I'll try again tomorrow.
• We ate our meals at home today, so I plead the 5th as to what liquids I consumed.

Quote of the Day:

I haven't "gotten any" AT ALL this year.

-Jadie (Thanks, honey)

Personal Challenge

I have been taking a closer look at myself lately.  What I am discovering about myself is not pretty.  Don't worry, I'm not feeling hopelessly down on myself.  I just see much room for improvement.  So, I am setting forth with a challenge for myself this year.  

My goals will be posted in the right column on this blog, mostly for myself, but for you as well.  They are there for you to encourage me and spur me on toward my goal of becoming a better Christian, a better person, a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, granddaughter and friend.

Here's the beginning of my goal list:

1. Post on the blog everyday.  Post about something that's stood out to me each day, no matter how small.  I hope for this goal to help me see the things in my life I have to be thankful for.
2. Read the Bible everyday.  "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness..." 2 Timothy 3:16
3. Get out of bed before 8:00 am everyday.  This is by far the most difficult goal on my list.  I have gotten into a horribly selfish rut of staying in bed for an extra hour (or more) after Caleb wakes up.  I basically coach him to watch PBS for as long as he will.  I know, I told you there were some ugly things that would come out.
4. Do something physically challenging everyday.  This may just consist of working out with the Wii.  It may mean walking around the block.  Whatever it is, I hope to develop a more healthy lifestyle.
5. Order the water.   Not only is this helpful in my goal to return to a healthy (and more physically appealing) weight, but it also falls in line with my desire to more wisely spend (and save) our money.